He has self-weaned

And no- I'm not happy about it. I pictured myself breast feeding for as long as he didn't have teeth :) But it looks like he has self weaned from me. I think there are a few reasons why though. For one- he got used to the bottle when he was sick. Next, I'm pretty sure I'm not producing enough milk for him (he's up to 6oz) and I didn't even pump that much in the beginning. And last, I'm working really hard to lose weight so I'm probably not consuming enough calories to sustain a milk supply. I know I could probably try to 'wean' him back but this time I have decided not to. See, I realllly want to lose weight- I NEED to lose weight. Not just 'cause its healthy- its because of my personal self. My self esteem is going down and I know its due to being the heaviest I've ever been. I've been dealing with a bit of PPD and some of it is due to my weight. I have lost 10lbs though in 2 week and am already feeling so much better. I would love to have breastfeed Remi for many more months to come but I know formula will be 'okay' and I just feel that If I am a happier person then I can be a better mother to him.

I am so happy that I made it to 4 months though. If you remember, I gave up breast feeding the 2nd week he was born due to the pain. I then tried again a week later and never had a problem the 2nd time around. So again, I'm super proud of myself for even breast feeding in the first place. I'm glad I got to experience that special bond between mother and child. I will never forget those precious 4 months of breast feeding him. I already miss it and feel a little sad...okay REALLY sad (I've only cried once about it). I just have to keep telling myself that "it was bound to happen anyways 'cause I'm not producing enough milk for him". He does still nurse at night though - so I will be soaking in those moments 'till that too stops.