Hoppy Easter Remington!

This past weekend we celebrated Easter!!!  Remi got his first Easter basket - camouflage with camouflage eggs and a cute little blue bunny. He had 2 Easter 'onsies' too and we managed to get him to wear both!

Remi went camping!

We go camping every year for Easter, have been for almost 20 years. So Remi went camping for the first time ever! He did Great!! He got a little sunburn on his face but it has since turned into a tan. He slept more then 9 hours straight both nights! He took his naps right on schedule and seemed to enjoy camping alot! In fact, the first day back home - the only way to make him happy was if he was outside so we had to set up his swing on the back porch. I guess he likes the outdoors! He also rode a quad for the first time and loved it!! Lots of 'firsts' this past weekend!

Wordless Wednesday

Got bored and played "photographer" again :)

Moments

Well, its been about a week since Remi has really breastfed. My boobs literally stopped working, stopped producing enough milk for him, not matter what I did to help it. I ate oatmeal every morning, took fenugreek 3x a day and drank the 'boobie tea'- nothing helped. And of course, with him preferring bottle over boob (probably 'cause the bottle had more milk in it then in my boobs) made it harder to exclusively breast feed. I'm sad. I know that breastfeeding would have come to an end sooner then later due to my super low milk supply, but I miss that connection with him. I loved being the sole provider of his 'food'. I loved that I was making him grow. I miss that so much. When he is super fussy, I will latch him on for a few seconds and it calms him down immediately. I'll have some milk still come out but it's only a 'snack' for him, and I know that too will soon come to an end. Ever since we stopped breast feeding on a normal basis- it seems as if hes more cranky. Maybe he misses that 'bond' between us? That contact? I don't know...
Although there are cons about not breast feeding anymore there are also pros. I now have more time to cuddle with him. Hubby can take part in feeding him and bonding with him in that sense. We can go wherever we want, whenever we want without the stress of "Where am I going to breast feed him" or "What will people think if I start feeding him right here in front of everyone", he is fuller longer and as silly as it is-- its nice to be able to wear sexy bras again (instead of ugly breast feeding bras) and now I can wear certain shirts that normally wouldn't work with breast feeding boobs! And this past week, ever since he has soley been fed formula, he has slept through the night! Like I said- I don't think I was producing enough milk for him hence why he wasn't gaining weight and why he was not sleeping through then night and nursing every hour!!

So I miss it...terribly. I still "crave" breast feeding him. I miss that special bond but he seems happier 'cause now his belly is nice and full!

Wordless Wednesday

One year ago...

One year ago today, I received my first positive pregnancy test after 14 months of multiple fertility treatments and medications. I can remember that day like it was yesturday....

It was a Monday morning and I had told myself the night before that "If my period wasn't here by Monday morning, then I would take a test". Sure enough, I woke up Monday morning and my period was no where in sight. I peed on that white stick, placed it on my lap while I finished peeing. By the time I was finished - there was 2 blue lines!! I picked it up, studied it for a while thinking "This looks different" (seeing how i've never seen a positive pregnancy test come from me). I then had to dig out the box from the garbage and read what a positive test looked like. IT WAS POSITIVE!!

I grabbed my phone and immediately called my sister. Yea I know....I didn't call hubby first. Anyways, It was about 7am and she picked up the phone and said "YOU'RE PREGNANT!!" ...What?? How did she know? She said "There is only one reason why you'd call me this early on a monday morning!!" LOL! I then took a picture of the test on my cell phone and sent it to her. She called back and said "OMG! Get over to my house now!!"

Once I got to my sisters house, I took another pregnancy test that was a different brand - just in case. I actually peed in a cup and had my sister dip the stick 'cause I was so terrified that i had just got a "false".....she dipped it.....and I heard her gasp and say "OMG!! ITS POSITIVE!!!" We both started tearing up. I started shaking. I couldn't believe it! It finally happened!

I went the WHOLE day without telling hubby or our parents. I just felt that something like 'this' was too darn special to share over the phone. I even told hubby that morning that I started my period. Once I got home from work that day, I placed 4 positive pregnancy tests into a gold box and wrapped it up. I told hubby that I had an early anniversary present for him since it was only 4 days before our first wedding anni.

When he was finally home and settled, I sat him down, and placed this gold box into his hands. He slowly opened it. He lifted the lid to the box and paused....."No way!!!" He said with a huge smile on his face! "These are positive!" I started crying and said "We're going to have a baby!". We hugged and kissed and cried in each others arms. He couldn't stop starting at those 4 little white sticks that said "baby"

Now it was time to tell the parents. Mike wrote "I'm Pregnant" with black marker on my belly. Our plan was to "flash" our parents the good news. We drove to my parents house first. They had literally just got home from a camping trip and was still unpacking. We sat in the kitchen with my mom and she was putting things away. She casually asked "Anything new with you two" and we just shrugged our shoulders and said "No, not really". Once my dad came in the house, in between putting things away, I said "I have something to show you all" I then got off my chair turned in circles a few times, stopped and lifted my shirt up revealing the words "I'm Pregnant" on my tummy. Tears filled the room!! They were over the moon happy for us.

We then went to Miks parents house and did the same thing. Although Mikes dad was out of town, we did the same thing for his mom and then called his dad to tell him the good news.

From there on - we were both on the phones the rest of the night calling friends and family reveling the best news ever!!

I'll never forget those emotions that day.

Shots!

Remi got his 4 month shots today. He screamed of course but once I put his favorite cartoon on (on my cell phone) he was happy again! He slept from about 11am to almost 3pm then went to bed around 8pm. He was a little more fussy this time around but a warm bath, some booby milk and cuddles made him feel all better.

At the doctors office today, he weighed 12.12lbs and was 25 inches long! Hes still in the 10% for weight but is now in 50% for length! Oh, and his head is 16 inches which is in the 10%. His doctor said he's a little small for his age but is meeting all the milestones. In fact, he rolled onto his side from his back for the fist time AT the doctors!! And when she put him on his tummy, he rolled right over to his back. Our next concern is- his hands and feet. They keep turning purple. She was a little worried about it but stated he has good pulses. If it continues for another week, we will have to go see a cardiologist just to double check his circulation.

He's a happy healthy growing boy!!!!

He has self-weaned

And no- I'm not happy about it. I pictured myself breast feeding for as long as he didn't have teeth :) But it looks like he has self weaned from me. I think there are a few reasons why though. For one- he got used to the bottle when he was sick. Next, I'm pretty sure I'm not producing enough milk for him (he's up to 6oz) and I didn't even pump that much in the beginning. And last, I'm working really hard to lose weight so I'm probably not consuming enough calories to sustain a milk supply. I know I could probably try to 'wean' him back but this time I have decided not to. See, I realllly want to lose weight- I NEED to lose weight. Not just 'cause its healthy- its because of my personal self. My self esteem is going down and I know its due to being the heaviest I've ever been. I've been dealing with a bit of PPD and some of it is due to my weight. I have lost 10lbs though in 2 week and am already feeling so much better. I would love to have breastfeed Remi for many more months to come but I know formula will be 'okay' and I just feel that If I am a happier person then I can be a better mother to him.

I am so happy that I made it to 4 months though. If you remember, I gave up breast feeding the 2nd week he was born due to the pain. I then tried again a week later and never had a problem the 2nd time around. So again, I'm super proud of myself for even breast feeding in the first place. I'm glad I got to experience that special bond between mother and child. I will never forget those precious 4 months of breast feeding him. I already miss it and feel a little sad...okay REALLY sad (I've only cried once about it). I just have to keep telling myself that "it was bound to happen anyways 'cause I'm not producing enough milk for him". He does still nurse at night though - so I will be soaking in those moments 'till that too stops.

Look at what Remi discovered....

4 Months Old Today!

Weight: He weighs 12.6 pounds!
Height: He is 24 inches- Finally 2ft tall!
Head Size: 16 inches
Diaper Size: Size 2 diapers
Clothes Size: Still in 0-3 months
Sleep: His sleep schedule is exactly the same!! He goes to bed around 9pm, wakes up to nurse around 3am, nurses at 7am then up for the day at 9am. Naps for a few hours from about 12pm to 4pm , awake the rest of the evening ‘till bedtime at 9pm
Favorite Activities: Remi loves to stand! He stands with little assistance and has super strong legs. If hes cranky of fussy, all we have to do is stand him up on our laps and hes happy again! We still go on walks every day. He has graduated to the jogging stroller since he can hold his head up better now. We have discovered "Baby Einstein" so that is a new fun thing we do each day. He likes tummy time now. In fact, it puts him to sleep.
Favorite Toys: He loves teethers! Hes learning how to grab things so once he gets a hold of his teethers, they go straight to his mouth. Basically, anything that can go into his mouth is his favorite! He still loves his colorful crinkly book and his "keys". He's also found his feet so to him, thats just as good as a new toy!
Eating: Still breast feeding!! but we are supplementing with formula now - just about every other feeding. He isn't growing super fast and sometimes he doesn't want 'me' so our only option is to bottle feed.
Talking: When doesn't he! He loves to makes noises with his mouth. He blows raspberries and bubbles, he makes a high pitch squeal, laughs alot, 'coos' and 'hummms' and makes sounds starting with "B"